


Harry Potter & the Very Angry Birthday

by Transgressions



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Birthday, Future Fic, M/M, One Shot, snarry, that cake tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-07
Updated: 2018-06-07
Packaged: 2019-05-19 12:48:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14874041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Transgressions/pseuds/Transgressions
Summary: Harry has the perfect birthday planned for Severus. But does Severus share the same thought?





	Harry Potter & the Very Angry Birthday

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DarkFoxxx](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkFoxxx/gifts).



> Thanks to TheHelpfulNeighborLady for a last minute beta-read of this story! Without further ado... Happy Birthday DarkFoxxx!

Harry had been practising since Halloween, under the guise of various celebrations, but of course, the only cake he truly - _really_ \- cared about, was this one. Magical baking was as much science as it was art, and Harry had researched all the recipes, all the ingredients, and - yes - even all the spells required for his creation. It was going to be absolutely, magnificently garish, and Severus was going to utterly hate it.

Harry smiled to himself as he finished beating the frosting. It glowed Slytherin green as he spread it generously between the two layers that would make up the bottom tier. He sandwiched the flat cakes together and spread frosting thick over them. His finishing touches smeared some on his knuckles, and he licked it off. It was light, and tasted warmly of vanilla bourbon. He gazed at his reflection in the small space of the icing knife that wasn't smeared with green. His cheeks were pink and his eyes were bright with excitement, the green of them enhanced by all the glowing frosting. He stuck his tongue out. It now glowed as green as the frosting. He snorted, imagining Severus' face when he figured out it dyed the inside of the mouth. He would be beside himself before he even realized it only lasted a few moments.

The next cake layer was frosted in glittery silver that he had lightly flavoured with bergamot. It gave off the heady scent of Earl Grey as he spread it, the glitter showering off in silver sparks wherever he touched it. It wasn't dangerous, but would provide a little entertainment for anyone who wasn't anticipating it. Harry grinned. If he actually managed to catch Severus off guard with it, the man would no doubt throttle him.

With a rather complicated string of spells, Harry floated the silver layer over the green, barely a centimetre above.

The third layer was again the glowing green, the top of it stuffed with many tens of thin, silver candles. Once lit, they would not go out until a very specific counter-charm was applied. If left to burn too long, the candles began to sing _Happy Birthday_ in an ever-increasing pitch and volume.

With every cake now floating perfectly centred, Harry charmed each tier to slowly rotate, with the silver tier rotating opposite the green ones. He stepped back, hands on his hips, and observed it. It looked wonderfully excessive. Snickering to himself, he carefully levitated it to the table, right in Severus' spot.

He blew up some shiny green balloons and tied them to the back of Severus' chair, and hung several sets of black and silver crepe paper streamers from the ceiling. Opening an old shoe box on the floor near the kitchen counter, Harry withdrew a large, gaudy goblet, the stem carved with three entwined cobras, their three hooded heads making up the cup. Their eyes were set with fake emeralds, and the scales of their bellies were hand painted iridescent over the pewter of the goblet. It was hideous, and Harry loved it. It was perfect.

With a glance at his watch, Harry took out the wine, a shitty rosé Severus was sure to despise. They’d only ever had rosé once, and the man had then spent the entire evening listing raw, puréed potions ingredients he would rather be drinking. Harry leaned against the counter near the door, wine bottle held seductively against his chest, his eyes sliding half closed as he smirked. Aaaaany second now...

The door opened. Severus stepped inside, looking decidedly cross already. It must have been an unpleasant day. His face lifted, and his brows unfurrowed as he met Harry's eyes.

But then they furrowed again.

'What is this,' he asked in a deadly voice. His eyes had found the balloons and were trailing up to the crepe paper. Harry swallowed, his nerves jangling.

'Happy Birthday,' he said in a sing-song voice that broke in its half-heartedness, pouring wine into the goblet and handing it to Severus. Severus took the cup but ignored him. Harry sighed.

'You know I don't-'

'That's why it's just us, Severus,' Harry ground out. He had prepared for the hatred. Expected it. Still, it did sting a little.

Harrumphing, Severus swept past him towards the table, looking at his goblet with revulsion, but still taking the tiniest of sips. His step faltered when he saw the cake.

'Just us?' he hissed, whirling. 'What the hell is that!?'

Harry scowled, marching past him to the table.

'Oh, just the cake I spent _all day_ baking,' he said, with a pointed look at the chair in front of the cake. Severus's eyes turned thunderous, but he remained frozen. Harry knew that Severus wanted nothing more than to turn around, robes billowing, and exit his chambers to leave all notions of birthdays and streamers and balloons and cakes behind. But Harry held him there, rooting him to the spot.

Harry watched as Severus' jaw tightened, shifted, and then relaxed. His gaze was no less murderous, but he at last moved toward the chair, looking up and down at the glittering, glowing monstrosity of confection before him. Harry beamed, and lit a match.

The candles were stuffed so close together, lighting one created a burning wave across the wicks and, very quickly, the whole top of the cake was aflame.

'So...' Harry said, the word as heavy with meaning as he could make it. His stomach jerked with nervousness. _Was it too far?_ 'Make a wish!'

Severus looked up at him, aghast.

'Potter, if you think for even one-'

And then the singing began.

_Happy Birthday to you..._

Severus' eyes flicked instantly to the candles. They were motionless and unchanging but for their dancing flames. Harry had taken care not to get the candles that actually had faces that sang. There was a line and that would have gone too far over it. Severus sucked in his breath with a low hiss, and then quickly blew across the top of the cake, a calculated move to cease the tinny song.

The flames died down, but jumped right back up.

'Potter!' he bellowed, enraged, launching up from his chair. Harry had sprung away as soon as Severus had blown, knowing it would push him over the edge. He could barely contain his laughter, and he was only just behind the kitchen counter when the stunning spell shot across the room.

'What is this-' Harry heard Severus attempt to blow out the candles again, as the singing went up another octave, '-this _madness,_ Potter!?'

'The box just said they were singing candles!' Harry bellowed defensively, standing up from behind the counter, casting the strongest shield he could as he did so. Severus whirled and cursed at him, but it bounced and hit the bookcase, causing a shelf to collapse. The potions master turned, swearing, and sat back down in front of the cake.

'They will not-' _blow_ 'They simply won't-' _blow_ 'This is inane!' _blow_ 'POTTER!'

Harry ducked as Severus picked up his chair. It hit the door, creating a tremendous crash that _almost_ drowned out the music.

'Make. it. _Stop!_ ' Severus demanded, now pointing his wand at the cake. 'Or your precious creation will learn the true meaning of Dark magic.'

'Okay!' Harry said frantically, moving swiftly around the counter back to the table, waving his wand over the candles as he muttered the counter-charm. Severus raised his brows at their continuous flames, and Harry sighed.

'Please? They'll go out this time.'

Severus pursed his lips and then gave a long-suffering sigh. Harry could see he was certainly pushing the envelope. The man was clearly questioning his decision to formalize their relationship.

Harry produced two plates, a knife, and a cake server. He passed the knife to Severus.

'If you would do the honours?'

Severus sneered.

'Oh, because the evening has been going so _spiffingly_ already.'

Nevertheless, he took the knife. He ignored the top layer, covered as it was with candles, and went for the middle, sparkling silver layer. Taking a deep breath, he almost rolled his eyes, but seemed to hold himself in check. With a sigh, he put the knife to the cake.

The sparks made him jump, and Harry couldn't help the bark of laughter that escaped him.

'You!' Severus growled, pointing the knife at Harry. 'You bloody _rotter!_ '

'Sorry!' Harry said lightly, his hands up defensively.

Severus glared at him, holding the knife threateningly for another moment before moving on to the lowest tier. With no ceremony at all, he viciously cut a piece of cake and tossed it onto a plate, throwing it across the table to Harry. He then cut another piece more carefully, and moved over one spot to where there remained a chair.

Harry delicately took a bite of his cake, keeping his mouth closed firmly. Severus relaxed enough to take a bite, and seemed surprised by the flavour. The cake itself was cardamom, accented by the rich, vanilla bourbon frosting. Frowning, Severus took another bite.

'Harry, this is...' Severus shook his head, amazed at the cake.

But all Harry could see was his green, glowing mouth. He pursed his lips hard.

'It's excellent,' Severus said. Harry swallowed his giggle, but his breath came out his nose in a repeated staccato.

'Baking is so similar to Potions,' Severus began severely, 'that I simply cannot understand...'

But Harry had stopped hearing him. He was dying inside, Severus' words simply becoming the reason that his mouth was making strange, glowing shapes. At last, the laughter escaped him.

'What is your- POTTER!' Severus roared, clearly finally noticing Harry's own glowing mouth, and fleeing the table towards the bathroom. Harry heard the echoing sound of enraged anguish, and felt overwhelmed by laughter, but also terrified. He clambered to the far side of the table, holding his sides as he laughed.

Severus came back in, looking furious. He said nothing, pointing his wand at each balloon on his chair, exploding each one with a deafening bang. Then he pointed at the streamers, each one dissolving into ash and falling to the floor like dust. He took the goblet of wine up, his lip curling again as he looked at it, and drained it before tossing it deftly into the fireplace. Harry must have looked adequately shocked, because Severus smirked, and then pointed his wand at the cake.

'No!' Harry shouted, running around the table to shield the cake. 'It seriously took me _all. day_.'

'This has been a _farce_ , Potter!' Severus snarled at him. 'You _know_ I hate birthdays. You _know_ I cannot stand rosé,' he said, gesturing disgustedly at the wine bottle still on the counter. 'And this-' his nose wrinkled in utter loathing '- _cake_ , if you can even call it that-'

'Yes,' Harry snarled back, stepping towards Severus aggressively, 'and it's bloody amazing!'

'You have _ruined my day_ ,' Severus countered loudly. 'I only wanted-'

'Well, you ruined _my_ day!'

'It is not _your_ birthday!'

'I thought you hated birthdays!?'

Severus was fairly red with fury now, and he at last had to turn away from Harry. But Harry grabbed his shoulder brazenly.

'Don't you turn away from me!'

Severus whirled back, seizing Harry by the shoulders and throwing him to the table – expertly avoiding the cake even in his rage – and pushing his weight onto Harry, his wand thrust into Harry's jaw.

' _Don't test me, Potter!_ '

Harry couldn't help the sigh that escaped his lips; breathy with pleasure that in no way could be mistake for fear.

The rage in Severus' eyes was suddenly replaced by something else.

Their kiss was savage. Severus launched himself up onto the table, crushing Harry with his weight as he assaulted his mouth. Harry moaned, twisting underneath Severus, so instantly hard he could barely contain himself. But Severus was still angry, and held Harry still with his weight. He began attacking Harry's neck with bites and licks, eliciting moans and an ever so soft, _please_.

' _Please?_ ' Severus asked, mockingly. 'After the evening you've given me?'

Severus retreated off of Harry, pulling Harry up and off the table by the front of his robes. Harry followed him through to the bedroom, barely able to stay on his feet as Severus dragged. He threw Harry to the bed, forgoing any of their usual intimacy, and began stripping Harry's robes off of him roughly. Harry pushed himself up by his elbows, grabbing Severus and falling back down on the bed.

'Potter, that's enough, you are not-'

But Harry had them flipped over and began tearing Severus' robes off, too, ignoring the millions of stupid, little buttons. Severus' eyes widened when he saw Harry's treatment of his robes and kicked him off. Harry hit the floor hard and had to watch Severus finish removing his own robes as he caught his breath. Then Severus came over to him, kneeling above his head, and stuck his fingers in Harry's mouth. He withdrew them, looking satisfied with the moisture collected, and rubbed along his length with it, a malicious gleam in his eyes.

'Turn over.'

Harry lifted his chin.

'No.'

Harry seized Severus, putting him to the floor instead, and slid down his body to the erection he still gripped with his wet fingers, drawing him inside his mouth. Severus moaned, his hands tangling wildly in Harry's hair, holding his head down. Harry groaned, sucking hard, massaging Severus' perineum with one hand and stroking Severus' cock with the other as he sucked. There was a throaty gasp above him, and then the hands left his hair and went for his cheeks. Severus pushed his face away.

'Inside,' was all he said, jerking his chin toward the bed. Harry pulled away with a nod, climbing up on the bed and pushing his face into the pillow, presenting himself. Severus climbed up after, and Harry felt familiar, strong hands gripping his hips.

'I'm so angry with you,' Severus said silkily, a threat dangling in his tone. Harry felt a cold wetness, and then one of Severus' fingers was plunging inside of him. 'You're such a terrible husband.' The finger disappeared and then there was more cold wetness, and two fingers went inside him. He exhaled sharply as a shock ran through his abdomen and into his legs.

'I'm ready,' he gasped, rocking back into Severus' hand. 'Oh please I'm so ready Severus.'

The smack across his arse was sharp and painful. Harry's erection wilted for a second, but came straining back as the pain faded into warmth.

'I agree.'

Severus pressed into him slowly, carefully, with a gentleness that belied his wrath. Harry groaned as Severus went further and further in, until he was sheathed entirely in Harry's body. His chest was only inches away from Harry's back; he could feel its heat, and Severus' ragged breath on his shoulders.

Then Severus began to move. Slowly, at first, but his rhythm picked up quickly until he was slamming into Harry, holding him tightly by the hips as he thrust. Harry was crying out, but was drowned out by the sound of slapping skin and Severus' primal grunts. Severus slowed, giving two final thrusts before seizing, sounding a stilted cry, and then shuddering. Harry felt the heat of Severus' orgasm inside him and moaned, his own erection making him incoherent with need. Panting, Severus leaned on Harry's back, their skin slick, and wrapped a hand around Harry, pumping him hard. Harry gasped and shuddered; he had come within moments of Severus touching him.

Severus laughed softly in his ear, pulling out of Harry, and collapsing next to him on the bed. Harry melted forwards, turning his face towards his husband.

'Thank you,' Severus said softly, his breathing still deep and wavering.

'For what?' Harry asked. He watched Severus smirk.

'For the best birthday I've had in years.'

'Best!?' Harry demanded, propping himself up on his elbows, despite the exhaustion that now overwhelmed him. 'You knew?'

Severus gave him a cruel, pitying look.

'Potter, that was the exact goblet Ms Murphy had the misfortune of gifting me for Christmas ten years ago.'

Harry sighed, his cheeks pinking and, unable to hide his smile, ducking down and burying his face in his elbow.

'I thought you had gotten rid of it,' Severus commented evenly.

Harry rolled his eyes.

'You never know when you might have use for a goblet made of snakes.'

Severus snorted, and Harry cuddled himself into his side.

'Happy Birthday, Severus,' Harry mumbled into Severus' chest. 'Fifty looks good on you.'

'Not nearly as good as you do,' he replied.

 


End file.
